Posted at 1:51 PM •
As I have oft eulogised in these humble pages I am something of a culture vulture, and I do still try to read some Classics every few years to wash all that smut out of my grey matter, but one profound side effect to my daily exposure to porn is that you start to see it in the most unlikeliest of places.
Whilst tiring of watching Star Trek the Next Generation for the umpteenth time last week I pulled out some Shakespeare and read some of my favorite passages, as I sipped my Camomile Tea and the Bard’s wonderful Prose started seeping through my mind it dawned on me that, in fact, Shakespeares work is basically about Porn and fucking, lots of fucking in fact.
Ok, hear me out, you have to remember that the Bard was a product of his time and his work was performed before the Peasants as well as Royalty and he knew as surely as any Hollywood producer would tell you now “Sex sells baby’, and his work is ripe with double entendre’s and double meanings, just work with me on this, lets try some examples in Romeo and Juliet act two scene 1 we read :
“O Romeo, that she were, O that she were/an open-arse and thou a popp’rin’pear.”
Now think about what I have just said and tell me this is not about Romeo plundering Juliet’s back passage, a Shakespearean Anal fest ? yes, thats what I thought, but wait, lets dig a bit deeper, try this:
“But I might see Cupid’s fiery shaft
Quenched in the chaste beams of the watery moon” –A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act II, Scene 1
Now if that is not about some serious deepthroating action replete with face slapping and spitting then I don’t know what is
you are starting to get it now aren’t you, but it gets more sophisticated, often one set of words would be used to replace another so in this example substitue the word ‘day’ for Penis and the word ‘night’ for Vagina and we get this:
“Come, night; come, Romeo; come, thou day in night;
For thou wilt lie upon the wings of night
Whiter than new snow on a raven’s back.
Come, gentle night, come, loving, black-brow’d night,
Give me my Romeo” –Romeo and Juliet, Act III, Scene II
read it twice so you understand the word play, and what you have here is a woman pleading for some Cock action while the “whiter than new Snow’ directs us to some Cum in the Mouth finishing or my ass doesn’t point downwards.
As you can see here sweet Samantha Bentley reminds us of Juliet, such a lover that would drive a man to distraction, her innocence comes across in her pictures in a way that is quite hypnotic, If the Bard were alive today he would, Im quite sure, be moved to write and entire Play dedicated to Samantha, I wonder what he would call it ? he would certainly use nomenclature of his time and perhaps sprinkle it with a more modern lexicon, we might get ‘ A midsummers nights Spunkup’ or perhaps “Taming of the Screw” either way Samantha Bentley is a modern masterpiece and a classic example of the perfect pornstar if ever there was one.. of vulnerability and innocence wrapped up in a suitably slutty exterior.
Lets raise our camomile tea to the master of Porn, William Shakespeare. Here Here !!!
